How Do You Keep That NRE?

We get asked this a LOT. How do we keep that New Relationship Energy (NRE)?

I posted a writing the other day on what we can learn about relationship from a cup of coffee. The message there is that what keeps NRE going is to make sure there is high entropy activity.

Here is one example of what I am talking about. So, we love each other and we have an exciting sex life. One day a few years ago, we had anal sex where Petra experienced a squirting orgasm. That got us talking about anal sex newly, and we made a choice to see what it would be like to only have anal sex every day for a month. We coined the term, “Anal April”.

Not only did we have anal sex exclusively for a month, we also catalogued the way being satisfied analy exclusively made her feel. We recorded the impact on her arousal. She has a massive demand for sex, so it was very interesting to monitor how being stimulated analy exclusiely made her feel about herself. She was dripping so much that she eventually even sold her panties to a fetishist.

My point is that you do all you can to keep life interesting. Don’t get into ruts. Easier said than done, right? Beyond sex, we looked at other ways which are available to us to introduce high entropy into our lives. We made the choice to look at the mundane aspects of life, eating and drinking. Before Petra, I was in a long term marriage where eating was a matter of rote. Petra and I made the choice to make eating an event. We do this by meal planning, which has us talking about our favorite dishes and what flavors we are craving. We talk about exploring the world through food. A few years back, for example, we had a weekly “World Tour of Chicken”. It was really fun. We first using a randomizer, randomly selected a country in the world. Then we searched for the national chicken dish, or one that sounded yummy. Next we would source ingredients, and finally, we would make the dish, and enjoy eating it. That is an example of how we created high entropy in our relationship just around food. We still do things like this, our latest being a world tour of soup! If you have not tried Greek Avgolemono Soup, you are simply missing out.

We did something similar with cocktails. We found our choices were limited by our knowledge of spirits. Petra went off to earn her certification as a Sommelier, and BOOM, our cocktail list is now expanded by over 1,000 cocktails.

My point is this. Living a mundane life is a choice. If you want NRE to always be there, then keep the high entropy moments alive in your relationship!