Flat Water and Cats Paws

I have been engaged in an inquiry recently, mostly because I find myself experiencing life as a happy, fulfilled, joyful and as a man who is deeply in love and who is experiencing the love of his beautiful sexy wife. As a visualization, imagine sitting by a lake watching the wind on the water. You notice the cats paws, which is to say, areas on the lake where the water is rippled by the wind. You notice the patches of calm between the cats paws.

That is often how a relationship looks. It’s calm over here, but over there, its turbulent. How this happens is that we overlook little things and gradually space between you builds up. Then life happens, and you are forced to focus over there, “the teacher is calling for a meeting over your child’s behavior”. Suddenly, that infidelity you were suspicious about slides into the background. On the lake you see areas of calm and areas of wind. This happens again and again in one form or another, till eventually, you mostly see wind on the lake. Your relationship is similarly turbulent. As I look back over my life before I met Petra, this was the pattern.

I divide my life into two parts, before Petra and post Petra. It was during the post Petra years that I began to notice the calm spots on the water more. I realized that there have been 3 pretty major inflection points. First, when we made a commitment to each other to build a created relationship. That opened up a lot of areas of discussion, and as I have repeatedly said, communication is our kink. The second inflection point occurred when we got engaged to be married. By then, the lake was largely calm with an occasional cats paw of wind for one reason or another. The third inflection point occurred when we got married. All of a sudden, the lake was calm.

The fact is that from day one, Petra informed me with all sincerity, that she “needed to be the one.” Why this is important is that it was marriage that unlocked her whole heart. Armed with the knowledge that she is “the one,” she was able to express her love completely. More importantly it allowed us to open our exploration of an energy space to explore together. We conjured up the notion of Yin/Yang as an explanation of our experience together, and even that does not do justice to the energy spectrum we occupy. My point is that transformation is occurring at breakneck speed and there is literally nothing to disrupt our flow. True love is present and the lake is flat water.

I offer this as an invitation for you to look at your life this way. Do you see calm? Do you see turbulence? Are there inflection points in your past or future that you can reference changes against?

Making a substantive difference in your relationship does require both (all) parties to participate. Either way, the only way to alter what the status quo is, is to take an inventory of where you are. An ancient Chinese proverb says, “If you don’t know where you are going, then you are probably not going to get there.” and another one says, “Even the longest journey begins with the first steps.” Take stock of where you are, set a goal to have a relationship with no turbulence and begin the process of transformation.

Sooner or later, you will be sitting by the lake looking at your life metaphorically, and find flat water.