Put Your Relationship on a Merry-go-round

We were talking the other day about the amazing relationship we have and this idea came up. Think of your relationship as if it exists on a merry-go-round. Do you remember, when you were a kid, how much fun it was to run around the merry-go-round, speeding it up till the momentum could carry you, then jumping on and enjoying the ride? As it slows you put your body closer to the center to make it go faster and you lean out to make it go slower. Then, the next kid who wanted to ride had to speed it up again before jumping on. Remember that?

It got me thinking about how to keep a relationship alive, and the image of playing on the merry-go-round of leaning in and out to keep it going was present in my mind. That, along with the image of occasionally jumping off and pushing it again to speed it up. That image especially, got me thinking about how important it is to contribute to your relationship with energy to keep it going.

To make the merry-go-round move faster, you need to do one or all of the following:

• Apply Force at the Edge: Pushing from the outer rim gives you the most leverage, making it easier to spin faster.

• Reduce Friction: Lubricate the central bearing and check for any rust or debris that might slow it down.

• Lower the Load: Fewer riders or lighter weight reduces resistance, allowing for a quicker spin.

• Use a Running Start: Running alongside and pushing before hopping on can build more speed than a standing push.

“Apply force at the edge” in your relationship, introduce new things, go somewhere new together, take on a new project, try a new meal. Basically, change is the secret sauce to keeping a relationship alive.

“Reducing friction” is a simpler mechanism to implement. We have a context in our relationship that there is nothing wrong, which makes friction less likely to occur, but if there is friction, you can simply choose not to engage in a battle. That is a choice.

“Lower the Load” For me, this directive implies one partner taking duties off the other partner intentionally. This could also relate to obligations the two of you have taken on. Remember, the relationship is key and making sure its healthy is the priority.

“Use a Running Start” Each partner brings their unique energy to the relationship. There are times when I do something for my partner out of the blue with no discussion at all and just present her with whatever I have conjured up. You can do this too.

It turns out that keeping a merry-go-round going is a perfect metaphor for relationship!