How to Get What You Want

OK, the simple answer is, “Just ask for it!” Sometimes though, that is not enough, or maybe difficult because of your embarrassment. The real answer is different though, because, in short, you get what you want by ensuring that you have enrolled and registered your partner in your pursuit.

Have you ever had the experience of asking for what you want, and your partner, who shows no interest, cannot be persuaded to come around to your view? There is a reason for that. In that case, you tried to register your partner in whatever you were after, without enrolling them in the possibility before hand.

Lets differentiate between enrollment and registration. To enroll someone in something, you have to share what you are up to in a manner that gets them engaged in the conversation. Think about a time where you excitedly shared something about an event or experience with others where they got equally excited with you as you shared. They asked you questions and engaged in the conversation. That is enrollment. Once someone is enrolled in an idea, they are much more likely to say “Yes!” when you ask them to participate.

There is an added benefit to enrolling someone in an idea and then registering them into participating, that being that the journey begins when you register. Getting out of the hypothetical, here is an example; If you enroll someone in running a marathon with you, what do they do the day after you register them to participate in the event? They start training. I am sure that the next day they will be planning their training program in order to be ready to run 26 miles.

In a relationship, its not always registering them to run a marathon that trips you up. Sometimes, you just need to ask your partner to do something for you. The real secret is in the enrollment part. Registering is easy, its asking for their help or participation, but if they are not enrolled, they may or may not agree to do as you request. That is why the answer to the question, “How do you get what you want” is not, “ask for it”, instead, its “enrollment then registration.” It’s always in that order. never the other way round.

Enrolling someone in your idea is really the place to spend your time. How you do that is that you share what you are up to in a way that gets them very excited about what are discussing. How you know they are enrolled is that they have facial congruence, they ask questions and generally act interested.

Once you achieve enrollment, then asking them to participate is really easy and simple, because you can then assume they will say, “YES!”