Sexploration

Embarking on a journey to explore ourselves as sexual creatures has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Both Petra and I have experienced transformations along the way. Now, to be clear, all along we believed that we were fully expressing ourselves as our authentic sexual selves. Which is to say that although the exploration continues, we have felt deeply satisfied and happy every step along the way.

The reality is that each of us has stood squarely in the frame of being committed to our partner’s full sexual enjoyment. So, what does it mean to explore sexuality? I mean its all about bumping naughty bits, right?

Wrong!

My view is that women are more sexual than society allows them. For us, giving Petra space to explore who she is as a sexual creature revealed so much. First of all, her pursuit was in service of bringing her sexuality into alignment with her personality more broadly. In real life, she is a very dominant woman. “Large and in charge” personality-wise. Yet, in the bedroom, she had never really explored herself as a sexual creature, instead, defaulting to the gender role that her then husband, (and first and only lover) demanded. Naturally, when she met me, the only role she knew was to play the perfect submissive. Now to be clear, it was not role play, she really is a service submissive and for several years, that is the only way we played. I was the Dominant and she the submissive in our dynamic.

Then, one day, I pointed out to her that while she was extraordinarily dominant professionally, and while she was dominant in coaching submissives, when it came to our sex life, she submitted. At first, when I challenged her on this, she said that she was quite happy to be my collared submissive. But, here and there she made a comment like, “The Snow Leopard wants to come out to play,” that had me eventually say to her, “Look, you might want to explore yourself as a dominant, see what is there for you.” She reluctantly agreed to switch with me and I agreed to be her toy while she sorted out her natural sexual nature. Then one day she said, “I went shopping today,” showing me a large strap on cock that she called, “my cock.”

I think that its the case that for many women, they have simply never ever explored themselves as sexual creatures and I propose that going on a similar inquiry will make a massive difference in how they see themselves.

Over time, we after a few weeks of switching back and forth, we gradually leaned heavily into her dominance. What became clear to her before long, was that for the first time, she was truly expressing herself as a sexual creature. The impact of that on me was of course, ridiculously hot sex every day with the love of my life, but the impact on her was completely unpredictable.

Her confidence grew, she is speaking up at work in ways she has not done before. She sees herself as the beautiful woman she really is. Most important as far as I am concerned, she loves herself for the first time in her life.

We have interviewed nearly 1,000 sexual creatures about their sex lives on our podcast the Kinky Cocktail Hour. To a person with literally no exceptions, the happiest people we talk to are those who are living into their true self-expression as sexual creatures.